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Meeghan

time square can't shine as brighht as you
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[Monday
October 24th 2:02pm
]
NEW LJ!

___theninja

Add me. I got waaay tired of this one. Sorrry. I'm horrible like that. Prolly deleting this soon.
READ 2 CMNT

Just a few things that piss me off. [Monday
October 10th 8:13pm
]
I'm so tired of trying to become friends with people who I think are cool and okay with being themselves and don't care about your past or you friends mistakes, but that always seems to be wrong. This is me making my statement. I will not pursue any friendship with people who can't be themselves and act the same way around everyone else. I'm finding out how ignorant everyone is in this town, and right now...I can't stand many of you. So be true to yourself if you care to have real friends.

People are beginning to piss me off. You hypocrites and jerks and liars who live in my town. You go around claiming one thing and totally decieving yourselves by doing something else.

Myspace is beginning to piss me off also. Everyone on there is the same. The pictures of themselves, I am included in that. The way that they make up their myspace, what it says.

Okay, so all you girls who claim to hate other girls so much, why is almost all of your "top 8" friends filled up with chicks?? Want to explain? Yeah. Of course you dislike girls. They are competition to you. It justs feels more right for you to be around guys because you like guys. You like the flirting and the hanging out with the guys because they always make you feel good when they flirt back. You don't like girls being there because they take away some of your attention.

Do you even know your views when you claim to be republican or democrat? As a fifteen year old girl or guy, do you really know the beliefs of that political group? Or are you just claiming it because your friends do? What are your beliefs? Back them up. Know the real world.

You are always going to think your friends are better than everyone else's. DUH! They are your friends, not their's, so how could their's be better? Do you like being biased like that? Because it's probably not completely true. Most of it's bull and your friends will probably hurt you sooner or later. Just as all friends hurt each other, intentionally or unintentionally.

You claim that your friends are better but then you say that no one is better than anyone else. What does that mean?

No one likes themselves. Everyone thinks they are ugly. It's all the same, so shove it.

No one understands each other, of course, because no one goes through the same thing. Duuuuh! Don't you know anything about teenagers and the way they think?

People disappoint each other. It bothers me. But that's life.

No one trusts anyone. Oh my goodness! That's so different from anyone else.

Oh yes, of course, you've been more than any 15 year old. I'd like to see you be beaten up by your own mother, than had to take the blame because you didn't want your 7 year old sister to have to go to a foster home. Then your mother kicks you out, knowing that if you aren't back by the time your social worker comes then you could be sent to juvy. And then her blaming you for most likely being sent to juvy. Oh, and flunking out of all classes because no one would help you find your classes, including the people who work at your school. Go through that at the age of 14 and then I'll believe you. [This is what my niece is going through right now].

Everyone hates drama. You claim to not drink or smoke, but just last week you were bragging about how you broke edge at the show and had some beer at a party.

Almost everyone is straight edge now. I'm not. I do drink alcohol sometimes, but not at parties. I don't get drunk. I have it at my best friend's house, under adult supervision. I don't do drugs, they ruin your life. And I'm Christian and I'm not going to have sex before marriage.

Everyone loves their friends enough to die for them. Are you truthful? If it came down to it would you really allow yourself to die? I'm here for my friends, I'm not bullshitting anyone when I say that. Most of you are. What happens when a friend you barely know comes to your crying because they have to leave your school and go somewhere else? Do you help them or shrug them off? I stayed. So fuck off if you wouldn't do that for someone who you barely know, because if you know them a bit, they are still your friend.

Everyone gets judged. Get used to it.

Everyone loves music. If you aren't listening to it at all times, shut the hell up. If you don't always have a beat in your head and you're dancing as you walk, then you don't love music. So shove it.

You're fifteen, alright? You say you're in love, but it's probably not all that true. That's why I broke up with my boyfriend. I don't think I'm ready to claim love for someone when I'm fifteen. It isn't right. Understand it. I've felt love for friends and family, and I don't know if I've ever felt true love for a boy before. I hope I have, but I can't know until I marry. Because yes, I will marry the man I love. You're in lust. So shut the fuck up about love. You like kissing and making out and feeling comfort because you know they think you are good-looking and that gives you comfort because you are unsure about your own self-image.

You aren't ugly, but you aren't that hot. So stop puttinggg pictures of you all over your myspace.

Not all of you are copying everyone else, but yeah, most of you aren't original.

Why are you trying to be ghetto? You claim to love the hardcore music and all that shit, yet you do the west side and the east side signs as if there's no tomorrow. You try to talk ghetto. You aren't black. You listen to rock. Stop trying to be ghetto. it's retarded.

I'm not straight edge. I am Christian. I'm not vegetarian. Why? I'm thinking about it. That's true. I don't agree with eating meat as I once though I did. I don't feel it is right anymore and am thinking of becoming a vegetarian for my own reasons, and I have reasons behind these beliefs.

If you have a problem with me and who I am, I will gladly speak with you about them. Don't talk shit about me.
CMNT

[Thursday
September 1st 2:06am
]
My chemistry homework is done. Except for a few problems I couldn't figure out on my own.

And now I realize that it is the first of September, and today would be 5 months.

My hands are shaking.

And I almost got caught with my laptop on by my dad.
READ 4 CMNT

All I know is -- It isn't that bad. [Thursday
September 1st 12:25am
]
[ mood | frustrated ]

So, only a bit of crying today.

School was pretty good. Until people asked about Todd [save Amanda, Jacob, Honey, George, and Patrick], then it sucked. I cried this morning when my dad yelled at me because I'm not responsible enough to keep track of the idiotic keys my school handed out.

So that started my day. That and missing breakfast. Got to school. It was all good. Nothing bad. Mr. Taylor was pretty cool today.

Mike and I played Go Fish. It was sahweet! Ahahahahah.

Then I was Jacob during Chemistry today. Michael and Jacob play footsies. Because Mike kept playing footsies with me during Chem when I was Jacob.

And I hear that Jacob and Amanda played footsies. Ahhh, well. Jacob doesn't like her like that though.

I'm talking to Jonny right now. And I'm finding out he's not giving his testimony on Saturday, so I'm not missing much. Which is good.

I have Theatre tomorrow. It's with Jason, but it's all good. I love theatre. And that makes up for hte crap teacher.

So, yeah. Todd had a bunch of our mutual friends ask me about why I broke up with him. And I was really pissed. And crying. And I couldn't stand it.

I still have chem. homework.

And one of my friends tried to cheer me up....so he asked me what my bra size was. I was on myspace and had left a bulletin about 6 questions and stuff. And I was like "Make them funny, because I need cheering up"...and he asked a few questions and then was like, "What's your bra size?" It was great. I smiled.

This is the guy from Big Stuf. Who was the skater. Who broke up with his girlfriend and is flirting with me. But lives two hours away. And he said he'd beat Todd up if he hurt me more.

And it was sweet.

But I don't want a boyfriend.

CMNT

And we all...falll....down. [Wednesday
August 31st 7:06am
]
I feel like shit.

And that's putting it nicely. I'm so tired. I was up all night thinking and unable to sleep because I felt so bad. I can still hear Todd saying these things to me after I broke up with him, and they make me want to cry.

Oh! Update! I don't think I can cry anymore.

I've cried so much. And people have tried to help. And it doesn't work.

But I still love those who did.
--
My mom, Honey [Hone-ee], Amanda, Jonny, Jacob, Pat, Patrick, George, Nicole, Jonathan, Amber.

Every single one of them tried to help, and I love them for it.

I have school. I don't want to go. Damn.

<333 you.
CMNT

[Tuesday
August 30th 9:41pm
]
[ mood | crappy ]

Todd and I broke up.

Too much argument, too many tears.

He was a jerk. It was expected.

That's life.



I still love him.

This is going to be so tough.

Help me.

CMNT

[Monday
August 29th 5:53pm
]
[ mood | pissed off ]

People piss me off.

But that's life.

CMNT

Remember to take pictures. [Sunday
August 28th 1:01pm
]
[ mood | loved ]

So, went to Aletheia last night.

Amber didn't come over. Severly pissed off, angry, depressed...

I show up crying. I get hugs, I smile and tell everyone I'm okay.

Jonny asks me to take pictures while he's playing in the band. Which is AWEsome. Yay for Jonny! I also know secrets of such things that have to do with suchs things that this chick will not talk about because I have been sworn to secrecy by a friend named Jonny. Yay.

So, we hang out. Play games. I become better friends with this gguys named Zach, Josh, and John. They were pretty cool. We hang out out at McDonald's and laugh at a bunch of real funny stuff. It was so funny. I loved it. It was cool.

Then we went over to Jervey Gant to play some Ultiamte Frisbee where my team won and I actually caught the frisbee. It was awesome.

Then the cops told us that the park closed at 10 and we should leave.


Hahahahahahaha. So we all left.

With that said, we took Jonny home, and then we took me home.

That was that.

Oh yeah, my brother came home last night. But ya know, now it's okay.

CMNT

[Saturday
August 27th 6:46pm
]
[ mood | crappy ]

It's probably not going to happen...Amber coming over. It isn't working.

Damn.

I ruined myself tonight.

I did it to myself.

I'm such an idiot.

CMNT

[Friday
August 26th 11:28pm
]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Went to the movies at 7:40 instead of 10:05. Saw The Cave. It was okay, but not great.

Went with Mikey, Jessica, Patrick, and Jonny. It was AWEsome. We met up at Easy Street, played some Air hockey.

Jonny beat Pat.
Jonny beat Mike.
I beat Jonny.

Who is the best? I am.

Went and saw the movie. Got laughed at. Afterwards, went back to Easy street [this is when my game was played]. Fun stuff right now...

Went back to Hollywood 16. Saw Kim, Todd's friend Justin, Megan, Marcello, Alex, Ross, and some other kid. Also saw Chris and Daniel. Also saw Mrs. Kussman. Also SAW KEEKS! YESH!

So, we get lost in the parking lot. Decide that Jonny is gonna spend the night at Pat's. I call my mom. I can stay out until 11. w00t.

Jonny mooned Jessica.

It was hilarious. Made me laugh SOOOOO HARD. Went to Jonny's house. It was fun. Then went to McD's, listened to some Norma Jean and Comeback Kids.

Tonight was fun. I was brought home, we had the music on soooooo loud.


AWESOME.

READ 1 CMNT

MORE PICTURES. [Wednesday
August 24th 7:54pm
]
[ mood | giggly ]

I bought glasses. Yes, I know...You're wondering. What the crap does Meeghan need glasses for? She has *perfect* eyesight.

Let me answer this for you. I stole Hone-ee's for picture day. Felll in love with such glasses. So, I love them. Bought some. Got them. w00t.

What the crap does Meegs need glasses for?Collapse )

BORED. Love me. Leave comments.

READ 4 CMNT

[Wednesday
August 24th 4:15pm
]
[ mood | moody ]

Okay.
Felt like crap today. I really, really wish I hadn't gone to school.

It twas great to see Amanda, Hone-ee, Jacob, and Audrey. But that was about it.

Showed up at school.
Saw people I loved.
Sort of sluggish about going to Prophets.
Didn't really pay attention. Dazed. I was dazed the whole time.
Up on meds.
Don't remember AP. I think we watched a movie. Don't remember.
Art was fun. Not. I want art to be bigger and better.
Journalism...Interviewed Mr. Taylor. CRAZY teacher. Dislike +1222222222xInfinity.
Almost finished reading Candy during Life Management.
Don't remember English. My favorite class and I don't remember it.
Chemistry...finished reading. Was bored. Didn't have to take Chem. test.
And...fell asleep during Algebra II.

Stupid day. I'm real tired.

G'night.

_meegs_

CMNT

Pic-a-tures. [Tuesday
August 23rd 5:30pm
]
[ mood | amused ]

Here are some pictures. Dunno if I put them up or not. But here are a bunch of pictures I have scattered around my photobucket. Just click under tha amazing lj-cut.

You know you wanna click...CLICK!Collapse )

READ 1 CMNT

Just waking up... [Monday
August 22nd 11:55am
]
[ mood | tired ]

Alright. Just woke up.

Last night was hell on earth. I mean it when I say that. I went into my room at 11. I tried to sleep for an hour. Listened to my Senses Fail CD four times over. And I still couldn't sleep. So I began reading this new book. It's called Candy. Pretty good so far, somewhat retarded idiotic. [I'm trying to cut down on my usage of the "r" word.] So, I read some of it until one of my nasal passages [nostrils] clears up. This happens, I close my book. Turn on my music. Turn off my lights. And I lay in bed, tossing and turning. I think I finally fell asleep around 2 [am]. Then I wake up again at 3:15. Wide awake. And as soon as I get up to check the clock, that's when it hits me. This pounding headache. The kind that you start crying when you get. So, yes, I started crying. Walk into my mom's room, wake her up, and ask her in this horrid, scratchy voice..."What do I take for a headache that makes you cry?"

"Advil."

So, after I take my advil, I go into my room, make sure there is no music.

And fall asleep.

Then my mom wakes me up at 6. My lights aren't on, so I'm guessing I'm not going to school. "Meeghan, you have a fever. You can't go to school." I just nod my head, mutter, "love you." And roll over and go back to sleep.

Now I have mucho homework to do. [study for AP test, all my chemistry homework, all of my life management homework, type up my English, and another religion sheet.]

Yay for me.

<33 me?

READ 1 CMNT

Aloha you guys. [Sunday
August 21st 5:42pm
]
[ mood | sick ]

I've been a bit down lately.

Just started getting back into the greatness that is livejounral. I sort of missed it.

In case no one was told, I got sick. Stupid Todd. He's a loserface.

School's okay. Part of me wishes I was pansy like some of my friends, and drop out of AP like they did over the summer. But I guess I've got to stick with it now, right? Crazy. I'm never ever going to hold off my homework until the night before. That was just idiotic of me. Oh well.

I'm gonna go. I'm sort of tired and still have a lot more homework to do. I just thought I'd update.


I have some pretty neat pictures, so I'll put them up today or tomorrow.

<33 me?

READ 1 CMNT

[Tuesday
August 16th 10:18pm
]
[ mood | curious ]

Nothing to say. Sadly enough.

Mmmmmkay?

Nah, not really.

It was picture day. Stole Honey's [hone-ee] glasses. I lookked Seksii. I know it.

<33 me?

READ 4 CMNT

In need of help. [Wednesday
August 3rd 2:51pm
]
[ mood | artistic ]

I have a question, for all of you, my friends...

What words would you use to describe me? Negative or positive, as many as you think. I need help here.

(Here are some people have already given me...
Positive, caring, spiffy, kind, awesome, sweet, artistic, interesting, personable, spirited, hyper, crazy, and humorous.)

[I think people are scared to tell me bad ones].

I need help here. I want a lot of words that could be used to describe me. Good or bad. Any type of word. ANYTHING.

CMNT

[Saturday
July 16th 2:58pm
]
[ mood | sore ]

Not much to say, I guess...Just thought I'd do a quick update.

I own Sims 2. Have I been playing it? Sadly, no. I've had it almost a week, and I have yet to even put it on a computer. Know why? 'Cause I have access to only my faja's computer, and I can't install anything on here or...well, I just can't.

Uhm. Painting of the room should be finished by Monday. (Wootage?) My mom is paying Todd to come over and help finish painting. His pay? Homemade Mac $ Cheese, fried chicken, salad. Todd's favorite food, I guess. But hell, I don't mind him coming over. I REALLY don't mind Todd coming over. Haha.

Oh, sorry Jon-oo for being a complete asshole last night on the phone. It's just, I'm really on the fritz right now, and everything is making me a bit frazzzled. Well, sort of. And then I noticed what time it was...and I almost missed Degrassi. (New eppi...can't miss....*obsessed*)

Well, I think I should go. I might go to the movies tonight, have to ask friends if they is going tonight with Aletheia. If they is, I might be. If not, I might be hanging out with Beebs? Depends on if I talk to her? She wants to hang out. w00t? I'm hyper.

Uhm, I'm gonna go watch Return to Cabin by the Lake. Or whatever. I've never seen the whole thing...

Mmm....I swear, I'm leaving now.

CMNT

Just found this.. [Tuesday
July 12th 2:38pm
]
The one's I have accomplished are italics..

Things I would like to do before I leave Ocala -- (Not in order)

-- Be kissed on the lips
-- Get a real boyfriend
-- Go on a real date

-- Go to the the skate park
-- Go see a musical with a guy (who isn't gay)
-- Remember all my friends' birthdays
-- Kiss my best *guy* friend
-- Get drunk as hell with my friends
-- Go to a public school for a day
-- Get a lead in a show or musical at OCT
-- Find socks that keep my feet warm
-- Kiss a gay guy
-- Meet people like Zack, who I only talk to online but live in the same town/city as me
-- Hold a real, longer than 2 second conversation with Calder online
-- Finally tell Lori to 'Fuck off'
-- Learn to sew

-- Make my own book bag
-- Stop biting my nails
-- Get an alarm clock
-- Become friends with my brother
-- Get straight A's on a report card at least once
-- Get skinnier
-- Find happiness (even though it isn't always there, I found it)
-- Learn to drive

-- Wear the color yellow
-- Dye my hair
-- Go horseback riding (I have never been horseback riding in Ocala)
-- Hang out at Wal-Mart 'til I get kicked out
-- Get back all the money I'm owed
-- Give all the money I owe back
-- Watch Saw on a huuuuuge screen (haha)
-- Write my own music to a song
-- Show someone my poetry
-- Yell at someone

-- Kiss one of my brother's friends
-- Finish one of my stories
-- Not drink soda pop for a month
-- Show off my stomach
-- See every horror movie in the horror section at every Blockbuster in Ocala
-- Kiss ________. (A cheek kiss was good enough in accomplishing that goal)
-- Find out what happened to my brother when he was younger
-- Find out how many people my dad killed
-- Have a serious conversation with Loquita
-- Feel like I'm falling in love again

-- Break up with someone
-- Giggle uncontrallably around a guy

w00t for me.
CMNT

[Tuesday
July 12th 2:03pm
]
[ mood | hyper ]

This is the boredom that we own..Collapse )

CMNT

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